My name is Sue, and I'm the fortunate mother of a 12 year old named Troy, who has Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder and Autism.
I never knew Troy had ADHD until he was 5 years old, and when I found out, I was in denial. My life was upside down for a full year, and here's why.
I had left my ex-husband when Troy was only three and a half months old. I got sole custody of him, and was very grateful. (My ex-husband being the drunk and bum he was.)
Only my son and my job kept me going after I left, for I still loved him. Because he was the father of our child and I thought maybe he might change, but as the months went on Troy saw less and less of his father, so I became both father and mother and was working, spending as much time with Troy as possible so he always felt loved.
During the time from 3 1/2 months old until age 3, Troy never talked, he always pointed to things he wanted, was still in diapers, and bottle. This bothered me because, not from a lack of getting Troy trained and off the bottle, nothing worked, and it was exhausting for me, and still my ex-husband blamed it on me, meanwhile he was hardly ever around.
I had my first date again when Troy had just turned 3. I dated this man for 3 months, when I found out I was pregnant again in April of 1990. I told him, and he left me, (neither took precautions and knew it might happen.) So here I am pregnant again, and alone, I continued to work until one week before going into the hospital.
I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I was so excited for myself and Troy, I thought maybe this would cure my son. Troy was so helpful. He taught Shyann to walk, would bathe her, change her diapers, and feed her. It was great to see Troy this way, and I felt hopeful.
When kindergarten started, my nightmare really began. Troy started showing signs of ADHD, hardly talking still, and when he did talk, nobody understood him, only I did.
I fought with the government to get him into day care for 8 months, so Troy could get as much education as possible. Working and fighting with the government, I ended up having a mild nervous breakdown. Eight and a half months later, I got what I wanted from the government, but no matter what education Troy got, nothing semed to work.
I made an appointment for Troy to see a Child psychologist. They did genetics testing, a brain scan, blood tests, and everything came back negative. I was upset because something was wrong with Troy, and nobody had any answers.
Troy failed kindergarten, and repeated it. When it came time for grade one, they put Troy in a school with handicapped children, and that was the wrong thing to do.
I moved from Winnipeg Manitoba to Kelowna British Columbia in 1994. Within the first month I had all the support known to me. Moving here was the best for me and my children, with a few rough times.
The school Troy was attending had no teachers with proper training to understand and help Troy. After completing grade one and two, he moved to a different school. The new school environment is excellent. Troy's teachers and other school staff are better trained to understand the behaviours of an ADHD child. These same people recognized that Troy also shows signs of Autism.
Family Services arranged for Troy to attend regular school with a full time Teachers Aid. Troy also goes to the Boys and Girls Club 3 days a week, and visits a Respite Family two weekends a month. He also gets a school bus to and from school every day. This is all provided free of charge by the B.C. Government, Department of Family Services.
I wanted to share this knowledge with you because it's me, not the doctors, and what I learned from my inner self that changed my son's life.
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